Eliza Phung. She’s a risk-taker from the comfort of her Boston penthouse. A roadrunner that’s never stepped foot on anything harder than a red carpet. An innovator who wrote the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Thirteen Ways to Make GPT Wrappers in exactly twenty minutes.
The Highlander asked Phung—who currently attends a university with an acceptance rate hovering around 5%—several questions regarding the mystifying details surrounding the Ivy League admissions process.
Phung, the founder of Ivy counseling service Prestigely, has over one million followers on TikTok and Instagram. She currently maintains a 4.0 GPA at college, taking rigorous courses such as “The Intersectionality of Matcha, Vampires and Indigenous Werewolves” and “Intro to NFTs 101.”
Here’s what Phung discussed with The Highlander.
Interviewer: Let’s get right to it. With testing now required again at six of the eight Ivy Leagues, the SAT is once again a focal point in admissions. Would an SAT lower than 1550 get an applicant rejected from Harvard and other peer Ivy League schools?
Phung: Absolutely not! People on the internet love to fearmonger with stats. A 1550 is excellent at Harvard. They’re actually going to get rejected because they’re the 700th math-violinist-doctor with the last name “Wang” in the pile. For only $6,000, I can transform them from an obedient little robot into a world-class Mongolian throat singer straight from the steppe. If that’s too much, then for $5,000, I can consider moving them into the math-clarinetist-engineer pile instead.
Interviewer: On that note, is it true that being “well-rounded” and joining lots of clubs is optimal to break into the Ivy Leagues?
Phung: If I ever see someone who does varsity tennis and attends Model UN conferences, I will literally throw up my Dubai chocolate latte. Here at Prestigely, we do things a little differently. You like recreational soccer? No, you don’t. You like being the CEO of a global nonprofit that specializes in turf-based kinetic movement, serving over 13 sentient organisms across 50 yards.
Interviewer: So how can otherwise ordinary students stand out in the eyes of Ivy League admissions officers?
Phung: By having spikes. Have you not been on TikTok at all recently? Spikes are the new fad. Basically, Ivies only care if you’re good at one thing and one thing only. One of the rising seniors I berate every other day on Zoom can recite to you The Grapes of Wrath in pig latin. If you ask him what his name is, he’ll totally stop, drop and roll. But at least he’ll be doing that in front of Yale’s Harkness Tower.
Interviewer: What would you say is the biggest red-flag a high school applicant to the Ivy Leagues can have?
Phung: Listing two parents on the Common App. It’s a flagrant sign of privilege and conceitedness. If you’re going to do that, at least use the additional information section to explain why.
Interviewer: Last question. One recurring criticism is that online influencers shouldn’t be trusted with college admissions advice. What makes you more trustworthy than, say, a seasoned admissions officer at Cambridge or New Haven?
Phung: Finally a real question. Listen, I don’t need your trust. I need your money. No, like seriously, I need it. As an Ivy League student myself, I know what struggle is and how to help my clients overcome it. Tuition at Northeastern is $90,000 a year and climbing as we speak. I’m just as desperate as my clients, so I really have everything to lose by not helping them.
Plus, our amazing team at Prestigely is actually full of qualified specialists with plenty of experience. Cleetus, one of our liaisons over at Penn Admissions. He actually hears exactly what happens in committee when they’re deciding who to admit, waitlist and reject. It’s one of the many wonderful perks of being a janitor.
