Ten minutes into every period, the doldrum of the school is broken by the parade of freshman and sophomores that are Highlander PE. These bold frontiersmen strut from the upper gym to the lower, content in the knowledge that all eyes in the hall are on them. This is, of course, because of their uniforms.
The deep and jutting red leaps out from amongst the snowy folds of light grey, slicing lines down the front to engrave the majestic M that is McLean. The shorts, so sheer as to shock the eyes and the outfit so majestic: onlookers swoon with Highlander pride. The triumphant freshman and sophomores soon retreat to the lower gym, enclosing their fashionable treasure within.
This breakthrough in fashion design has not gone unnoticed. Senior DeLeQuesha JohnBrownson released her first clothing line this February, highlighting the McLean PE uniform as her center outfit. “I just love how it’s so complex in it’s simplicity.” JohnBrownson said. “It appears hideous at first look, but then the nuances of the outfit entrance the viewer as they notice the flawless stitching on the arm, and the subtle curve of the collar.”
JohnBrownson’s fashion line was met with huge success. In fact, Lady Gaga and Snoop Dog were both seen sporting the McLean PE uniform look on separate occasions.
The less enlightened decry the outfit. “It’s a PE uniform.” said sophomore Sean Temos, and “it’s literally a PE uniform” said junior Alex Sampson.
JohnBrownson defends her art. “You have to open your mind. The uniform is a statement. It says ‘even though I’m wearing a High School PE uniform, I’m not part of the system. I’m unique.’ And it’s right. I mean, it takes a lot of guts to wear such a fashionable piece…not many people can pull it off.”
JohnBrownson seems to certainly be able to ‘pull it off.’ She only wears her uniform line in public, and is often mistaken for a PE student herself, even though she is a senior. “You know, I’m honored when someone thinks I’m in PE. It brings me back to the roots. It makes me feel connected to the phenomenon that was there before someone recognized its potential.” JohnBrownson said.
The fashion line will only expand. JohnBrownson plans to release the uniform in new color combinations, including brown and black, camo, and yellow on yellow.
With the uniform being the latest fashion trend, and growing, the McLean PE department may have to change it’s uniform. “Nowadays you can hardly tell who is in PE and who is wearing a fashionable outfit. We are considering a new uniform…it would be a one-piece for the students” said PE teacher Brigda Heft.
The trend may soon die down, but for how the halls are alight with statements and bold personalities exploring self expression through true fashion.

THIS ARTICLE IS A SATIRE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY