SATIRE: Students celebrate Earth Day by bragging about themselves

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Mount Pilatus by SteFou! on Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Sophomore Anne Kilmer’s Earth Day post recieved over 500 likes from her followers. “I think people resonated with me bragging about my fancy vacation,” Kilmer said.

In response to climate change and the worsening condition of natural resources, multiple McLean students posted on Instagram to bring attention to themselves.

“I just posted a bunch of photos from my trips to Europe,” sophomore Anne Kilmer said. “Basically I wanted to say that I’m rich and privileged and dealing with the Earth is important, but it’s not my problem.”

Kilmer’s most popular post, a photo of Mount Pilatus in Switzerland, was widely supported by the student body for doing nothing to help the planet.

“My friends and classmates agreed that the Earth is so beautiful and deserves to be protected,” Kilmer said. “Honestly, we’re exhausted. I think we’ve done enough activism today.”

Others used the day to raise awareness about how they’re not the typical student. Junior John Haywood posted ways he has helped the planet, like becoming a raw vegan and taking all the nice clothes from Goodwill, that oppose mainstream American lifestyle.

“I’ve done so much for the Earth, and I just wanted other people to know how they can help too,” Haywood said. “I buy secondhand products, spend thousands of dollars on expensive biodegradable laundry detergent, and don’t do any volunteering because wild animals and dirt are gross.”

Many of these students have learned from posting online, and say they are more pensive about their personal choices after reading two sentences of the climate change entry on Wikipedia.

“I posted a picture showing how the Earth is degrading so quickly, and a little explanation of why we really need to take it seriously,” Denise Finley said. “After that, my friends and I went to Chick-Fil-A in separate large SUVs to get milkshakes and sauce in unrecyclable single-use plastics.”

Now, Finley hopes to make a real change in the world because she’s done the bare minimum on Instagram.

“All of these teenagers coming together to say, ‘no, the planet dying is bad,’ is just so powerful,” Finley said. “It makes me feel like we can really change the world if this whole thing wasn’t for online clout.”