The Highlander

How to not buy a hamster

A step by step tutorial and guide to not buying a hamster

This+is+Winston
This is Winston

This is Winston

Julia McElligott

Julia McElligott

This is Winston

Ryan Dahlseid, Reporter

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Background:

A little while back, my girlfriend and I left to go to the movies.  On our way to the movie theater, we checked Fandango to see if there were any good movies playing.  It turned out, the only movie we wanted to see had a 10 pm showing and nothing else. (It was 3 pm at the time) So we decided to go back to her house.  On the way, we passed Petsmart.  Naturally, we decided to go in to see the puppies.  While walking through the door, I jokingly said: “let’s buy a fish.”

She loved the idea. We started walking around and she saw the hamsters first.

“Let’s get one,” she said. I think she was joking though.

“Alright!”

“Really?” she asked

“Yeah, why not.”

“Alright let’s do it!”

So we got one.

His name is Winston.

 

Pros of buying a hamster:

He is very cute

 

Cons of buying a hamster:

He is loud

He is smelly

He costs a lot (over time)

He requires a lot of cleaning

He is pretty mean

He bites

He is only loud at night

He scares the dog

He pees in his wheel

He then runs in his wheel

He poops

He poops a lot

 

Directions:

Step One: Do not buy a hamster. That’s it. That’s all the steps.

 

If anyone would like a hamster, complete with cage and wheel please contact me at [email protected]

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How to not buy a hamster