9,245,461 views. In just a few months. That’s more hits than all of President Obama’s State of the Unions on YouTube combined. That’s more hits than most of the stories about major news events. But don’t worry. This is The Incredible Pizza Rat! If not at least major news item, Pizza Rat, given his enormous attention, must be a phenomenon. Pizza Rat must be a freak of nature, a superhuman rat, the Einstein of the rodent community, the greatest athlete the rat race has ever produced.

That’s what one would think, given the buzz surrounding the feats of this new internet star. But upon watching the video for which Pizza Rat is famous, the video that showcases Pizza Rat’s greatest feat to date, I was sorely disappointed. Not in Pizza Rat, but in the people who gave him his fame. I am disappointed in the makers and viewers of this video, a video that is only a sorry example of the mediocrity of the rat race. But I do not begrudge Pizza rat. Because while he is talentless and boring, he is, after all, a rat.

The video showcases Pizza Rat, apparently stuck to a slice of pizza, falling down the stairs of a subway station. Some might even say it is a purposeful scurry, rather than a fall, but as Ronny Chieng of The Daily Show stated eloquently, “He’s not even going up the stairs! He’s going down the stairs! Yo, gravity is doing most of the work!” Pizza Rat drags the pizza down the stairs/tumbles down the stairs with the pizza, unaware of the exact object he has mounted. He releases the pizza from himself when he is almost at the end of the stairs, only to scurry under a nearby dumpster in typical rat fashion. He doesn’t even eat the pizza! Now, a rat that can successfully transport a slice of pizza to his desired eating spot and then is capable of eating the entire slice of pizza would be worthy of nearly 9 million hits and international fame. But Pizza Rat did nothing of the sort.

Pizza Rat represents what’s wrong with America today. We’re giving ordinary, talentless individuals undeserved fame because they were in the right place (in front of an iPhone) at the right time. Pizza Rat is the Kardashian of the rodent community. He might as well have won the latest powerball, given his accidental outrageous success. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even know how big he is. At least every other person (or otherwise) that has gained so much attention in a similar fashion is aware of their new status. The Kardashians are famous for flaunting their popularity, and I can guarantee that the latest powerball winners are going to be flaunting their newfound wealth. But Pizza Rat has no knowledge of his popularity, and no reason to suspect that he is in any way spectacular. It is only us easily-excitable humans that are able to take this utter normalness and turn it into a spectacle because we as humans are shallow and readily impressed.

So I think while I am using Pizza Rat as a vehicle to make a statement, it is not Pizza Rat himself whom I criticize. It is the video I comment on, a video that praises quitters and mediocrity. This speaks volumes on the modern-day human race. We need to pick our viral internet stars better, and I think Pizza Rat is a clear wake-up call.

Now, see for yourself–is Pizza Rat really worth the hype?!