The Highlander, McLean High School’s most trusted news source, uses a wide base of excellent reporters to bring McLean the news that it deserves. However, most of the time, there are too many great stories to be printed in one of the seven issues printed yearly.

For hard-hitting and recent news, students turn to The Highlander Online, the official online site of the Highlander. Here, riveting stories of woe and heroism file into the section headings, where a plethora of students browse them at their leisure. In fact, The Highlander Online has become more popular than the news magazine version.

“Our strategy for distributing Highlanders mainly involves throwing them at people in the hall,” reporter Sheila McCannon admits.

The Highlander Online is accessible even to the layman, a place where one can fill their intellectual curiosity with movie reviews, student profiles, and even the depressing, hard-to-swallow stories like puppies coming to the school.

The quality reporting and flashy web design has drawn its share of admirers. The web drive tracks that, as of March 16, the site is now receiving over 100,000 visitors a day. This is remarkable, as the school has only about 2,000 students.

The popularity is owed, in actuality, to entities outside the school.

“Most of our web traffic actually comes from various social hot-spots across the world, you know, places like Paris, Seattle, Hong-Kong, Taipei…we seem to have drawn a cultural gathering to our news website,” site editor Mike Michelson said.

In many spots throughout the world, The Highlander Online has become a household name, as esteemed as such news organizations like The Onion or Buzzfeed. One can hardly commandeer the great social discourse of the modern age without hearing mention of the local online journalism source that has come to be beloved by so many.

Students continue to spread the word of the cultural flourishing that many have come to associate with The Highlander Online.

“Of course I’ve heard of it!” freshman Anna Parathion said. “What gets me up in the morning is knowing that there will be fresh content on The Highlander Online for me to digest.”

THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY