As the weather cools, and the sunlight abandons us, it becomes the season for making those dreaded and never-fulfilled New Year’s resolutions. Even though this issue has persisted for eons on end, I have created a foolproof guide to finally make your New Year’s resolution happen.
Pick your Resolution:
It might be a bit difficult to complete your New Year’s resolution if you never pick one out, but never fear, we still believe in you! For our less adventurous readers, you should start off by simply picking a resolution. A great starting point is something that you have never considered before. If you haven’t thought of winning an ostrich race; well, now you have a perfect starting point.
Focus only on your goal:
You should never focus on anything but your resolution. Your success in creating the first ostrich racing community in McLean is much more important than everything else, including whatever method you use to get there. Sure, buying 300 ostriches might be outside of your price range, but it really is worth it. Just think of all the races you could win.
Never give up:
Go all out to get this resolution completed. If you break your foot, but your New Year’s resolution is to walk your ostriches for four miles a day, then you know you will be walking those ostriches four miles. Even if you have to do it uphill both ways and in the snow.
Pick something demanding:
Your resolution needs to be nearly impossible. You need to be winning gold in ostrich racing at Canterbury Park, not beating your neighbor in a friendly ostrich racing competition. If your resolution isn’t difficult, it just doesn’t carry the same weight, and it won’t seem as if you have achieved much.
Start off strong:
You should never have a goal that builds up over time, it’s a waste of time. You should think about beginning with getting professional ostrich racing gear, only riding at breakneck speed. Riding slow and taking your time equates to a very sad race.
Never share your resolution:
It may be tempting to share your resolution with somebody else, but you shouldn’t ever share it with other people. They might try to help you with your resolution, and that is a sign of failure. It’s your journey, and if anyone even lifts a pinky finger trying to help you train your ostriches to race, then did you actually train them?
Don’t ever forget:
You should remember that if you miss even one day, you’re out. There is no coming back from a missed day. This is your New Year’s resolution, the most serious commitment you will have all year. It’s what everything you do will be judged off of. You don’t want to become the target of a joke because you didn’t finish your resolution. Just imagine having to deal with the shame!
Multiple Resolutions:
If you are really confident, you could also think about multiple resolutions. Go big or go home right? If you do multiple resolutions at the same time, you’ll be the best at New Year’s resolutions, the ultimate Olympian. Maybe you could pioneer an ostrich racing event at the Olympics!
With your new-found knowledge of how to properly create a New Year’s resolution, go forth, and finally win that ostrich race, or do whatever your heart desires.
