This will be short, quick, and spoiler heavy, because there’s no way to properly discuss this movie without spoilers.

Anne Hathaway has had enough of the abuse at the hands of her husband Jason Clarke, and so she goes to Matthew Mcconaughey, her ex-husband, to ask him to kill her new husband for her.

…except, all this is a plot in a fishing video game. A video game that real-life Mcconaughey’s son has programmed so he could live out the fantasy of killing his abusive real-life stepfather. So video game Mcconaughey goes and kills video game Clarke, while the real-life son goes to kill his stepfather.

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There’s nothing wrong with your eyes, that IS the actual plot of this movie.

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…the trailer was legitimately fascinating, downright Hitchcockian. Like Psycho but on an island. Instead we got…poor man’s Ready Player One.

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I’m not even mad. This is honestly incredible.

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Have you fired your agent yet, Mcconaughey?