Green milk? How the heck is that remotely appetizing or nourishing?

Star Wars: The Last Jedi has garnered reputation as the savior, the traitor, and the pariah of the Star Wars fandom ever since it came out. In fact, this has to be one of the most divisive films of the year. People are either loving it, hating it, or going out to buy blue milk and then grind the film up into cereal to have for breakfast.

I had absolutely no idea how to approach this film, and as the initial reactions came out, I was positively terrified at the prospect of reviewing it. I mean, how was I supposed to say anything on The Last Jedi when everyone’s approach to the film was this?

I’m just gonna hope this film doesn’t actually start a galactic war within the Star Wars fandom.

So apparently the whole jib at the Death Star Mk.3 wasn’t enough for the resistance after all; they are now all on the run from pursuit by the First Order, with the chance of escape diminishing like BB-8 figures on sale. Meanwhile, Rey has gone to find Gandalf – I mean Dumbledore – I mean Obi-Wan – I mean – ugh. She is there to receive her training and bring hope back to the galaxy…as soon as Luke has had his daily glass of green milk.

Now…how do I begin this…

There are a lot of things I could talk about – the fantastic visuals, made only better in IMAX 3D, the heart-pounding OST, the outstanding performances, especially from Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver, the twists and turns the film goes through – but I think others have said that better before I did, so I’ll pass and get to the juicy bits.

Thing is, in terms of being an action film…The Last Jedi utterly fails at it.

Other than the relatively impressive opening battle, there isn’t a single action scene in the film that managed to awe me. 80% of the film is about the Resistance ship veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly running away from the First Order ship, which is pursuing veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly. Oh, and a couple of light shows are exchanged. Riveting. The climax battle on the red velvet cake planet is just as boring, with a group of walkers moving veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly towards the Resistance base, while the Resistance battleships veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery clunkily make their assault.

The space battles aren’t the only thing that has degraded in this film. Lightsaber battles are now just tired, lazy swings and misses that your brain will fool you into thinking it’s cool because there’s the VRWOOOM sounds and flashy lights all around. And especially when it comes to the final battle, I couldn’t contain my disappointment on just how NOT they were trying with the action.

However, it’s only because the action was boring me to sleep with my head stuck in my popcorn bowl that I was able to see beyond.

This isn’t meant to be a blockbuster. Director Rian Johnson didn’t want just ships exploding and lightsabers clashing. And while I admittedly did want a bit more of that stuff, I can now see the true theme of the movie – growth through failure.

There isn’t a single plan in the film that doesn’t go wrong. Both the First Order and the Resistance fails so many times their fails compilation video would overload Youtube. Poe, Finn, Leia, Rey, Luke, Snoke, Kylo Ren, etc, etc. They all find some way to miraculously f*&% it all up.

On one hand, coupled with the pedestrian action, it’s infuriating. I want to see either side actually going somewhere with their plans, not constantly have an unexpected twist happen at the very last second while the mastermind laughs and says “all according to keikaku.” Because of it, the film can be quite a drag at times to watch with neither side being able to pull something off effectively.

But what do they do? What do both sides do when faced with failure? They find a new way. They rise up from the ashes, preserving the spark. Watching them is reminiscent of me at my 7th grade campfire, desperately trying to set the log aflame despite a steady drizzle and the rest of the crew on the side, clasping their packets of barbecue hungrily.

The main key to this film isn’t about watching them cheer as another planet explodes behind them. It’s about seeing them fall to the uttermost depths possible, and yet still going on, still holding onto a shred of hope, that they can make it out of this, that they can survive.

Personally, I think the divisiveness of the film mainly stems from one thing. One single yet quite important thing, and the thing that I wholeheartedly agree is the worst part of the film.

The casino scene.

This is the sidequest to end all sidequests. If they just cut this scene out entirely, so much of the controversy behind the film could have been avoided. The plot holes could have been filled, the characters would have had more time devoted to them, and the film wouldn’t have lost its focus.

They try to have the scene be about the consequences of war and how it affects the normal folk…before going on about animal cruelty and the horrors of humanity…before switching to a slave rebellion story…before briefly transforming into Casino Royale, then Prison Break, then Jurassic Park.

I get what they wanted to do with the scene, but it’s here where I feel Rian Johnson’s ambition was beyond what he could support. The sheer amount of lessons and themes he tried to cram in there was too much that none of them really came across. Even popcorn needs about a minute of two to cook, and the stuff in the casino scene was certainly more than popcorn. Then there’s the fact that the casino scene is just…ugly. It’g bright, it’s garish, and the CG is especially noticeable there. It ends up smothering the messages beneath all the gold coins being inserted into BB-8.

The rest of the film is sublime, steady, with good development, but the moment the camera switches to the casino, the film grinds to a halt. It goes nowhere and it means nothing in the end, because it was filler in the highest. Tonally it matches with the rest of the film as well as Gandalf trying to hide among Ewoks. It’s the equivalent of the hentai tentacle scene in The Force Awakens, except extended. It was a component that didn’t need to be there, and yet it was, and it ends up disrupting the whole film.

Maybe I’m spending too much time on this, but that’s mainly because a) other plot points that I like and want to talk about are spoilers, and b) this scene is the most prominent problem with the film whereas the rest of it is great, which only doubles my disappointment. If this scene had just been replaced with more of what this film mainly is about, there is no doubt that I’d consider this my favorite films of the year.

I’m no hater of action. In fact, a lot of times I would forgive a disappointing film if the action was just enjoyable enough. But the films that I truly love have character. And not just on one side of the story, but all sides, light and darkness, good and evil. I adore a drama where all characters have understandable motivations and undergo some form of growth, even if it grows to be a venus fly trap that chomps down on an unsuspecting five year-old’s finger.

My pinkie still hurts.

Point is, The Last Jedi is a film that perfectly matches my personal preferences, and I love it for that. Sure, the action leaves a lot to be desired, and some pieces of the film REALLY don’t belong, but the human drama that takes place in this is no short of beautiful.

It’s not going to be for everybody. The audience reactions to the film clearly showcase that. I enjoyed it because it was on the right chord with me, enough to look past some of its flaws or holes. But moviegoers who are looking for another grand chapter in the epic story of heroism and midichlorians are going to have their hopes torn in half between a telekinetic battle between two force users.

…ignore that incredibly specific example.

Because of this, I’d say this works best if you view it as a character film than anything else. The story isn’t about a grand battle with lava planets and planet-busting beams.

It’s the story of a broken Resistance, struggling to survive and not give into despair.

It’s the story of an overconfident, brash man being beaten down and molded into a seasoned hero.

It’s the story of a girl struggling to deal with more power than she can handle, and what she chooses to do with it.

It’s the story of a failed, broken hero finally finding peace and hope after long last.

It’s the story of a raw young man cutting off the past and creating and identity for his own.

It’s the story of the old burning to the ground, leaving behind a wasteland that either side is going to have to rebuild from.

It’s the story of the fandom realizing that all of their theories mean next to nothing and slipping into the dark side.

Okay, joking on the last part. (Or am I?)

If you go into the film expecting a fun spectacle like The Force Awakens, you are going to be sorely disappointed. In fact,  I am secretly forging my own theory that Rian Johnson and JJ Abrams are each forging their own First Order and Resistance, because the two films cannot be more polar opposites. This is a bleak film, but not entirely hopeless. It portrays growth of all characters in the film instead of red lasers destroying a star system.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi walks down a new path – one that is sure to be divisive, but assuredly fresh. “Fulfill your destiny” and “one in a million” isn’t what the film’s concerned about. It’s the very human characters that are caught within this mess, how it affects them, and what they grow to be out of it. It’s a different approach from the previous Star Wars formula, but I don’t think that change is inherently bad.

This quote from Kylo Ren cannot describe this film more perfectly:

“Let the past die. Kill it. If you have to.”

Oh, and BB-8’s still cute as ever.