“The Bachelorette” is back

Hannah kills it, but the guys are.... questionable

Alex Mandanas, Managing Editor

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As a dedicated Bachelor/ Bachelorette fan, Monday was an exciting night. My beloved series was finally on the airwaves again with one of the most genuine contestants playing its titular role. All Hannah, or I, could really say was “roll tide!”

The excitement wore off almost immediately after the men of the season were introduced.

It’s a tradition for The Bachelor/ The Bachelorette to highlight the oddballs and weirdos of the season in its first episode, but all night I couldn’t stop thinking “wait, who is the normal, good guy here?”

Take Tyler C., a handsome contractor from Florida. I felt like he had some potential until he started Kevin Bacon dancing around a construction site in his video intro (sans a shirt). And he was so clearly drunk when he got out of the limo, and he barely acknowledged Hannah. Yikes.

There was also the obnoxious “box king,” a box salesman from my beloved city, Chicago (“box” was obviously pronounced like “bax”…. bless the Chicago accent). His grand entrance? Jumping out of a massive cardboard box, and leaving thousands of styrofoam packing peanuts all over the mansion’s driveway. I was really irked when I thought about the poor person who had to clean that up (fortunately it was Chris Harrison, as shown at the end of the episode).

Others stand out. There was some guy named “John Paul Jones,” who listed his job as “John Paul Jones” and insisted that Hannah call him “John Paul Jones.”

There was the whitest rapper on earth who claimed he “spit bars like Willy Wonka” and a sweet-seeming farmer who really pulled up to the mansion on a tractor and sang an original song.

This is so awful because Hannah seems as genuine as one could be in her position. She’s awkward, talks a little too much, and open about overcoming her insecurities and growing as a person.

Compared to boring Becca Kufrin (the former Bachelorette) and too-perfect Colton Underwood (the former Bachelor), Hannah is a welcome surprise. Ruining away her story arc by giving her a batch of severely questionable men isn’t the move, Bachelorette producers.

Hopefully, she finds love this season (and hopefully it’s not with the Kevin Bacon guy).